Jodi

bring it baby

2012-01-09T22:48:00.000-08:00

9 days into the new year and I realized if I don't start now I never will. Thanks to Flawless & JJ for the inspiration.

2012 Goals:

1. Lose 10-20 pounds; more but I'm starting small.
2. Find "A Place You Have Come To Fear The Most" and fight it.
3. Become obsessed with success.
4. Get back into acting.
5. Get into a university.
6. Get a better job.

more to come but this is what I have figured so far :)

2011 in review

2012-01-09T22:43:00.000-08:00

Learned who my real best friends are.
Went through more trials than most know.
Had great nights and bad nights.
Learned more about myself.
Gained my faith back.
Lost friends, gained friends.

it was a great year, the last few months tested me and everything I believe in. I overcame the trails and came out a champ. Now on to 2012;; 9 days in and I'm ready to go.

2011-12-20T23:32:00.000-08:00

Dear Grandma,

I miss you and I really wish you were here. I need you soo badly, and I need the security I haven't felt since you left this Earth. I really need you. You were one of the best things I ever had in my life.

In Another Life

2011-11-22T23:30:00.000-08:00

The life of a 20 year old.

Let's just say growing up is soo much fun! I miss the days where I depended on mommy and dad for everything; but i LOVE paying for my shit! I'm growing up and loving it!

Life:
Great job at Polo Ralph Lauren. I love it & everyone there!
I'm not gonna lie I party with friends, which I never did before.
I'm maturing into a woman, that knows what she wants.
I'm classy yet wild.
I'm going through things and I'm comin out a winner.

Friends:
Whew this is a whirl wind. I have discovered who my real friends are.
It's amazing who is there for you and who, depsite promises to always be there, isn't.
I thank goodness I found out who they are.
We're a crazy bunch but I love them!

Boys:
Do you love me? oh do you love me? I say so.

boys.boys.boys.what.the.heck?
Well I am single, and loving it.
Well sorta there is one boy who caught my eye.
Darn blue eyed boy with a great smile.

curse you love songs

2011-10-12T23:36:00.000-07:00

"And my mates are all there trying to calm me down
'Cause I'm shouting your name all over town
I'm swearing if i go there now
I can change your mind turn it all around

And I know that I'm drunk but I'll say the words
And he'll* listen this time even though their slurred
Dial his* number and confess to him*
I'm still in love but all i heard was nothing"
- Nothing by The Script

"Theres so much time, to figure out the rest of my life
And youve already got me coming undone
And Im thinking two, is better than one"

-Two Is Better Than One by Boys Like Girls ft. Taylor Swift

ugh oh

2011-09-28T22:14:00.001-07:00

Dear Blogger,

Okay blog so I cheated on you with tumblr. Yes I am ashamed but I did it, BUT I totally choose you!! I am sorry I cheated. I really am. Just know I love you soo much more than tumblr. I am really not a fan of it.

Sincerely,

me.

20 years old

2011-08-16T22:42:00.000-07:00

yeeeeaaaaah babyy!! I am offically 20 years old, as of last thursday. It feels so weird, but it's cool.

the middle

2011-07-26T16:13:00.000-07:00

It's coming up in a couple weeks and to be honest I'm not excited.
It's just another day that will come and ago.
The thing that sucks is I am always excited for my birthday.
This year nothing has gone the way I wanted it to.
I'm so over everything compared to last year it's just not fun.
I don't have a job and i fucking look everywhere.
I apply at every fucking place I can, even if it means they hold my resume and app.
I am so tired of not being in the place I want.
I'm tired of not knowing who my real friends are.
I'm tired of just constantly trying to move but I'm stuck in the same place.
"Make yourself miserable, or happy and strong. The amount of work is the same.”
I'm tired of being in the middle of that I'm stuck and can't move.
I'm ready to say fuck you all I'm done.
I can't wait to get out of this shitty town and move on.

A Letter To A Boy

2011-07-23T01:30:00.000-07:00

C: "u cant say there was nothing there bcuz there was u felt sumtin so there was sumthin there 4 u & u cant say he doesnt feel nething 4 u bcuz only he knows that"

Me: "True. But it's easier to think there wasnt"

I'm so over it, but then again thats a lie. The truth is I fell for you, well at the very least started to, and how you made me feel. I loved the feeling of your arms around me and falling alseep next to you. I never dated you, but you meant alot to me. You told me there was alot you had to get right in your life before you could even think of having another, that's fine hunny. I get it, but don't ever think you weren't good enough because I fell for you when you felt like you weren't worth shit. You never said those direct words but you implied it. I fell for the guy that was a total sweetheart yet sarcastic asshole and I liked it. I always got the butterflies and you made me feel alive. I kept a secret from my best friend and yeah I finally told her about you. So now if shit hits the fan it's my fault and you can go ahead and "deny deny deny" I really don't care. The scariest thing to me is you said you weren't ready for a relationship, but I'm scared that now that I'm walking away you'll find a new girl and ask her to be your girlfriend. Maybe I shouldn't have said certain things, but at the same time you know everything in that text was true. I guess walking away from you is what I have to do and I'll live. I wanted to break down that wall you built so high, you said you were hesitant but you weren't, hesitant means at a slow pace you will soon go forward. Hunny it's been since Feburary, hesitant would have been gone by now. I don't expect a TV show romance where in three weeks were together and happy it takes time but I'm slowly running out. Your freedom means alot, you're scared, and you can't go through that again- that's fine but one day freedom won't mean as much, you won't be scared and you know you'll be able to open up once again but one day I won't be there and it doesn't hurt you it hurts me. I guess I put a little too much thought into this and I don't think you ever put any into it. I feel so stupid, and you let me run back twice. I'm not going to lie it's my fault for going back but it's also yours for letting me. One thing you never knew is last summer I fell for a guy, and even though we were just best friends I will go as far as saying I feel in love with him and he completely broke my heart. Now here I am a year later and I'm ready to put myself on the front line of this war and tell you how I feel but don't ever forget you said no. Wow I guess I am ready to move on yet as I sit here and typed that sentence I almost erased it because I feel like I'm not. I'm so torn but hey it's life. I'll move on because I'm tired of feeling like I don't mean anything to you. Don't get me wrong I'm seriously gonna miss the random kiss on my shoulder, the way you would tuck my hair behind my ear or move it out of my face, the way you would hug me as you feel asleep, the smile you had when you first wake up, that good morning kiss I adore oh so much. But here is where I say bye, because I can't do this anymore and I feel a sense of strength and a tear at my heart but what doesn't kill me only makes me stronger.

But the truth is you'll never read this anyway.

xoxo

Jodi

Caylee Marie

2011-07-07T23:47:00.001-07:00

Dear Caylee, I am so sorry you did not get justice. You know as well as the rest of us that God will serve you justice. I hope you can find peace and continue to show the beautiful love from your heart. You were a beautiful little girl ripped away from us too soon. All we can do now is live in a way that would honor you. Rest in Peace Caylee baby.

Team Caylee Marie

2011-07-04T14:53:00.000-07:00

Don't worry pretty little girl justice will be served.
R.I.P. Caylee

Photo courtesy of https://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Justice-for-Caylee-Anthony/103509289743087

alter bridge

2011-06-28T23:33:00.000-07:00

And who is gonna save you, when I'm gone?
And who'll watch over you
And who will give you strength when you're not strong?
Who'll watch over you when I've gone away?
-Alter Bridge

I thought of certain people during this song, Alter Brigdes' lyrics have an effect on me. This song sorta had me thinking of my family, and how broken I would be if I lost another member. I watch over some people more than I should sometimes but I feel like its my job.I know it's a love song but I'm getting to that. Lyrically you can use it for anyone.

As for the love song aspect, I keep falling a little bit more each time. The best thing about this guy is he watches out for me. He's an amazing friend, and someone that if I start falling harder for I will be okay no matter what the outcome :)

fighter

2011-06-18T13:12:00.000-07:00

i'm the girl who is naturally loud, and laughs even louder, knows she is absoulty drop dead gorgeous and fights to keep herself together and will never stop fighting for the life she wants to live. Would you like to know my secret? Fighting, I fought like crazy to get where I am now. I maybe jobless, but I continue to look. I may not be gorgeous to you, but I fought to get the confidence I do now. Wanna bring me down? Go ahead, you might succeed but when I fall, I fall like a champ. I'll get right back up and come back stronger than before. Why? Cause you hate to see it, and that's life baby. You take the fall like a champ only to dust yourself off and get back up. You better believe I will fight like hell, cause I've made it too far to lose now.

xoxo

if it means alot to you

2011-06-10T23:23:00.000-07:00

Too many times I have wanted to end this. Too many times I have thought it was you I wanted. Too many times have I debated on what to do. Too many times I play this routine in my head. Too many times it ended the way I wanted to. Too many times have I known it won't. Too many times I made you my escape. Too many times I wish I knew what to do. Too many times I wish you knew it was me. I know I need to end this now, but I can't.

the best part

2011-06-10T21:20:00.000-07:00

"You know the best part?

It isn't knowing that your friends have your back.

It's knowing that you have your friends' back."

-Green Street Hooligans

I guess I am learning who has my back, we all know whose back I have had over the years. I have been screwed over by too many who I believed would never do that to me. Honestly, it makes me glad those people are gone because they were never true in the first place. So now I'm learning who at the end of the day will have my back no matter what. Keep it 100% all the time, that's all I ask. I ain't gonna be mad if you tell me how it is, but all I ask is you don't either. I know the quote says "It's knowing that you have your friends' back" and thats true, I have my friends back no matter what but I needed to get that out.

just a girl at war

2011-05-29T14:27:00.000-07:00

I'm a girl whose

heart and mind
mind and blog
rationailty and implusiveness
heart and heart
conscience and mind
sense of being and self-esteem

are all at a war

giving all my secrets away

2011-05-27T09:01:00.000-07:00

1. I'm afraid of job hunting because I hate rejection.
2. I 'm afraid of falling for someone who can't fall back.
3. I'm afraid if I let someone go, it will be my biggest mistake.
4. I'm afraid I'll be on these anti's forever.
5. I'm afraid of alot, but mostly that everyone's right- I won't become anything....

1. I dislike job hunting, because this economy sucks.
2. I dislike having everyone rub it in my face I don't have a job
3. I dislike school, yet I kick ass at it
4. I dislike being in California, yet it's home
5. I dislike feeling bad about myself, which I do some days.

1. I love that feeling when everything goes right.
2. I love not sleeping alone, cuddle addict.
3. I love that I have a total sense of adventure.
4. I love road trips and yelling in German at bad drivers.
5. I love shows/concerts and I need one soon.

If you wanna know more secrets ask away....

my 60th post

2011-05-14T20:27:00.000-07:00

I write too much. haha. Well then again I have had this thing for over two years. I feel like for my 60th I should say something inspiritional but I can't seem to think of anything so here is 5 randoms :)

1. I relate of bunch of songs to this boy that I like; even though everything is top secret.
2. I admit I love saying "I'm Team (insert whatever here).
3. I love trying to catch 11:11 and yes I do wish :)
4. I think Facebook is addicting
5. I love being a nerd, weirdo etc :)

My Power, My Strength

2011-05-01T21:51:00.000-07:00

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?”
Marianne Williamson

I have read this quote many times, I have heard this quote many times; but now I know it's meaning. This whole time I have been afraid to show my strength, my light and my power. For last couple of years I have let this fear hold me back, I let it hold me back and never reached my full potential. I have feared I'll become better than some and more succesful than others, in fact it's been a couple certain people this fear has existed about. The truth is I will never be better or more succesful than anyone, I will just have completed my goals. It ends tonight. It'll be a hard road, but I'm not letting fear run me anymore. This is my life, this is my success, this is my power, this is my everything and for the first time in awhile I'm fighting for something I believe in and something I want.

Maybe this is coming from the victory of the United States military(my home) finally capturing it's number 1 on the F.B.I.'s Most Wanted list; maybe it's from rehearing the quote. Maybe this is from regaining my faith. But it's happening.

2011-05-01T21:50:00.001-07:00

“I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.”
Robert McCloskey quotes

The River

2011-04-20T12:05:00.000-07:00

A few posts ago I wrote I can't claim a faith, then retracted it. I am Catholic, born and raised. These past 7 years I have had a hard time with my faith and God, I have doubted him and didn't believe in Him. I am ashamed to say it, I am. I have lost some very important people in my life, yes it is a part of life, but I lost them when I needed them the most. My sisters have screwed somethings up for me big time, I hit a point where I was lower than you could ever believe and I was able to hide it well. I lived with this fear for the past 2 years I might become them, I have seen it in some people's eyes. Reverse psychologically was used on me to become something and work harder than ever, it tore me down even worse. I never turned to drugs for my problems, I knew where to get them I just refused to take that path. At 19 I am jobless, I am a student and I hate being jobless but there is something more important that I possess than a job. I'm so happy to say I have just about 100% of my faith back. They say evil comes disguised, and it does. I thought for awhile it had taken ahold of me, but I'm fighting back full force. I'm 19, I go through trials and I have faced some pretty crazy stuff. It has torn me down harder than you know but I stood back up and fought even harder. I make mistakes, I may not live according to how the Bible says I should but it's my life to make mistakes. God knows what is in my heart and to me that is all that matters. These things I face are just challenges. "You need to remember that word "challenge". They are not problems or issues or anything else... God gives us all challenges that we must face in order to see His glory. When faced with challenges, we are forced to think and work them out until we overcome them. There are always answers to these challenges, even if they aren't the answers we are looking for. We just need to accept the answer, learn and move on" My friend Joey aka Flawless told me this, and it has really helped. I thank God for blessing me with such amazing people in my life family and friends. Joey has really helped me out with reclaiming my faith so thank you; I love you.

"I confess I am a sinner,
I have seen a vision of my life &
I want to be delievered."

just a little insight

2011-04-06T21:32:00.000-07:00

Rule #1: you don't me. As much as you probably think you do; you don't. It may look like I have it easy, and I have the easiest life ever, i'm spoiled etc. Here's the thing- walk a mile in my shoes. Yeah there are a lot of things I have easy, yeah I'm spoiled BUT you will never know what it's like in my head. Most of the time I don't say the things I should. You don't know the shit I face, the shit I go through. I have a tough exterior for a reason. You don't know me, most of the people who think they know me- they don't.

Rule #2: guy mentality/winning duh! I say it cause it's funnier to play the field, but in reality deep down i'm a hopeless romantic. I hope he'd sweep me off my feet. Truth is, right now- i don't think there is a prince out there. I'd sue disney for false advertisement(i even know the penal code). I would love to be in a relationship, but right now there is shit i gotta be straight with myself. I gotta know I can make something of myself before tryin to be with someone else. just dating or not. of course that doesn't stop me from falling for certain guys- cause i'm winning duuuuuuhhhhh. there. you. go. that was what i needed to get off my chest. it's been bottled inside a while.

LiFE

2011-03-10T13:43:00.000-08:00

Life
cute guys.
no job.
in school.
soccer.
living to breathe

Love Life

semi-there

most handsome boy ever

like him more each day

he cant keep a convo

he'll drive me insane

yet he's got that thing

can't pin point it but

it's there

correct: he's no longer in the photo...

Fam[ily]

is amazing.

always there

always annoying

but i love 'em

lost a great memeber

remember her always

Friends

better than ever

hilarious and amazing

great memories

great people

new ones added everyday

Faith

work in progress

R.I.P.

2011-03-09T01:21:00.000-08:00

maybe it's easier for me to pretend you're still here. maybe it's easier for me to contain everything I'm feeling. But the truth is I miss you so much- Grandma, Matt and Toni. I wish you were still with me, I wish I could remember Grandma and Matt's voices. The only reason I remember your faces is because of photos. Toni, I can still hear your voice in my head. One of your lasts requests, was for me to bring you a beer and bring you back some of Blue's smoked ham. Your silent request was for me to spend some time with you, I didn't realize it. I wish I could back and just spend every second with you. I wish I could bring you one more beer and see you smoke one more cigg. I wish I could tell you the influence you have made on my life. I wish I could know how proud you are of me, and to know to feel like someone is. I wish I could hug you and give you a kiss on your cheek. I dont think I ever said thank you for letting me and jen always stay at your place, but thank you. Thank you for everything you have ever done for me. I love you. xoxo

"And if you were with me tonight
I'd sing to you just one more time
A song for a heart so big
God couldn't let it live
May angels lead you in"-Jimmy Eat World

back to summer

2011-03-06T23:02:00.002-08:00

i guess you'll never know how hard i fell for you
i guess you'll never know how you almost broke my heart
i guess you'll never know how i wanted to be yours
i guess you'll never know how when you were around i was totally content
i guess i'll have to learn how to get over you

...it was good while it lasted; i understand why things are the way they are; you deserve the very best; i just hope that what you have is it...

2011-02-21T01:04:00.000-08:00

I can't claim faith, but if I had to I'm catholic. I believe in God. I always will.

I may have times where I am upset at what life has thrown my way. Maybe it is easier to blame Him for everything, maybe it's just letting go is the hardest part. I have reasons to be mad, and I have reasons to not believe- but I chose to forgive and chose to believe. Please Lord, guide me when I'm lost and help me when I'm wrong. I need you now more than ever. I need the light and the shelter you can provide. I need to know that everything will be alright. Please protect me in the darkest hours of the night and in the day. Please watch over my family and I.

May the Lord be in our hearts, souls,spirits,bodies&minds at all times. Humble ourselves unto him.Thank him even on the hardest times!

I waited patiently for the Lord to help me & he turned to me & heard my cry. He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out of the mud & out of the mire. He set my feet on solid ground....

everything never comes....

2011-02-06T20:56:00.000-08:00

when you feel like you have nothing look at the people next to you.

then look at road(literally go outside and look down the road) and it'll hit you.

You momentarily have nothing

but it's only so you can have

everything.

the lost valentine

2011-01-30T23:00:00.000-08:00

c u t e s t movie e v e r

made me a little teary eyed;

made me wish a little that i had someone

but

it taught me

n e v e r give up on l o v e

love a l w a y s deserves a chance,

it may take y e a r s but never give up.

l o v e hold onto it tight,

tomorrow could be the last day.

it could start this second,

but open you h e a r t

never give up because love and hope go

hand in hand

2011-01-17T22:56:00.000-08:00

R.I.P. Aunt Toni

I miss you so much.
I love you so much.
I can feel you next to me.
You're my angel.
It's hard; i try to fight it.
I just can't let go.
I miss seeing your smile,
hearing you're laugh,
getting you you're beer,
I just miss you,

i love you

about me

2011-01-09T01:28:00.000-08:00

The 3 "about me"'s that I have

Facebook:
I'm a teenage girl from So Cal. I love to have fun and hang out with my friends. I'm a simple girl in a crazy world. I love to have fun and just chill. I have awesome friends and family who drive me crazy; but in the end its all okay. I wont be you; I'll only be me. I'm not them and they arent me. In a simplier tone- I'm simply me.

Myspace:
Name: Miss Jodi aka Biscuit
Flirting is my game ;)
18 years young;
08.11.91 is the day i blow out the candles
RCC is my school;
Poli Sci is what i do
Status is single && ready to mingle
Love stayin home; love goin out
Spit your game; swallow my rejection
Hard worker; work for what i want
Love Sons Of Anarchy;
SAMCRO is the legit shit bitch
Hit me up- i'm pretty down to earth and love to talk :) ..
Love Me? Chances are Iloveyoutoo
Hate Me? iDGAF....

and for the general section:
i can write songs; i can rap; i can do just about anything; i can be a darn good photographer; i can be a best friend; i can be an enemy; i can be anything you want; but honestly i'll just be me

Blogger:
I'm teenage girl; who isn't as naive as you would like to think. Been known to speak my mind whenever and whenever. It can get me in trouble but oh well. I'll forgive but not forget. I forgive too easily. I'm simply me; promise not be anything other than that. I started to blog because i need a place to be myself; and guess what its working. love or hate. i dgaf

wow; i dont know how accurate all of this is anymore. but im determinded to find out :)

I'm giving all my secrets away

2010-12-31T00:32:00.000-08:00

Where do I begin? This year has been such an adventure. I've grown in many ways.
I've made many new friends, lost some good friends.

Honestly, I dont know how to describe this year. It's been such a roller coaster.
I've made amazing memories, crunk nights, cute boys, meeting SAMCRO, late night drives, road trips, German class and so on. I am so grateful to have amazing family and friends. Things may not always go the way I plan, but that's where I step up and make my life mine.

ahh the things that happen when you just let go...

But New Years Resolution:
1. See my family more often
2. Get a job
3. Lose weight
4. Dont care as much
5. Get into a university
6. Learn to appericate everything more

2010-12-28T01:39:00.000-08:00

this reminds me of a friend; i miss the old days
it's amazing how people become the ones they swore they never would

2010-12-26T17:07:00.000-08:00

NFC East Champs

2010

Eagles flyy high babyy!!

don't give up on me baby

2010-12-17T22:55:00.001-08:00

this somewhat resembles some shit in my life at the moment.
im in love with this song.
i hope time doesn't take too long
for things to sort though....
<3

it's a night of quotes

2010-11-15T21:46:00.000-08:00

"Change can be good if you allow it too be. It allows us to look at where we started, where we are today, and everything that we've accomplished along the way."-Rusty S.

"Opinions are different for so many, that it gets tricky because who knows what is true and what is false on some subjects. not everything is true and not everything is false. course im sure many would like to think it is. but that is right there my opinion. haha. opinions make the world go round."-Jodi H.

"The thing is people change, the even become the people they swore they never would. Maybe one day it can become a version of what it was. But all you have is now, live it up and all you have is the people you love and the ones who won't leave for anything. I know it may not sound comforting. but embrace the ones you have, and say i love you because tomorrow it could end. but at least you'll have your happy memories."-Jodi H.

it's about to get deep

2010-10-27T22:55:00.000-07:00

"Will you scream when you're alone?

Even the beautiful lose control"

-Hedley

In a time when I thought I was losing faith; getting sadder by the day, angrier by the moment-I thought I losing it. There's a certain magic in music, it can pull you out of the darkest hour or be the helping hand you so desperately need. Music can pull me out of anything, I don't know how but it can. In a time when I needed it most, Hedley was there to pull me out of a dark time. The comedy yet seriousness in their lyrics, it's something profound.

Oct 21, 2010 The Roxy in Los Angeles, CA

There's some men who have a band called Hedley.

They are canadian-based and simply amazing.

I love them with all my heart.

Front Row.

They saved me.

They didn't even know me.

I met them after the show.

The vibes were amazing.

That show was something i'll always

REMEMBER

lookin in the mirror

2010-10-07T14:42:00.000-07:00

...And the truth is...

I may not be a single digit size

I may not be as classy as the queen

I may not be as smart as Einstein

...BUT...

I'm rambunctious

I'm smart

I'm sassy and classy

AND

More gorgeous then you know

The beauty is in the attempt

So be the very person

You set out to be

Take a risk; Be smart

Be classy; Have fun

Make mistakes; Have a heart

But always just stay

true to yourself

Because that's where the

real beauty lies

I'm against bullying!

2010-09-30T22:08:00.000-07:00

it really pisses me off how people can tease someone so much that want to die, and end up killing themselves; I stand up for Gay Rights- go ahead start in on me- i don't give a shit. But do not EVER make a person feel so ashamed for being themselves, EVER!

it is sooo awful to hear how many people have killed themselves in 3 weeks. I can't stand how one person is soo insecure with themselves they tease others and make that person feel so degraded! I am fucking tired of it. There is no reason a...ny person should want to kill themselves, esp if they are LGBT, I think it's time for more Trevor Project commericals. I hate absoulty HATE how a person could even post someone else's sexual content on the internet, or trip a 13 yr old boy down 2 flights of stairs, and how a school can not give a shit about a person being teased, and so on. It is awful! How can people so awful exist? I truely hope it haunts them forever. I hope it eats at them everyday. I know that sounds totally bitchy but I just don't understand how a person can do that. I feel for the famiies and friends who have lost these past 3 weeks. I hope the souls can find peace.

How dare someone make someone else feel so awful! I hope it truely eats at that person and haunts them forever. I know it's awful but I do. I hope the familys invovled get justice for their loved ones, and i hope the souls find people. Please if anyone reads this and knows someone or even if you yourself is having suicide thoughts please call the Trevor Helpline, they will help LGBT or not. They will help! it is not the answer, you're loved by many.

insight

2010-08-24T21:38:00.000-07:00

mind in place. heart fractured. JUSD worker. music lover. Salad eater. Purple and Gold. Dodger fan. Eagle girl. SAMCRO bitch. In-n-Out lover. FB lover. Twitter crazed. Movie Watcher. Hollywood love. Riverside/CA native. AZ law supporter. Instinct owner. suzuki esteem driver. money saver. big dreamer.

I learn who I am through experiences in life. This is real; this is me. I wont candy coat anything. I want to look back in a year and see if I am the same. this is 8/24/2010. Let's see what a year can do.

miles apart but together in heart

2010-08-20T20:55:00.000-07:00

"don't let it get to you. you know who you are and what your intentions are if others can't see that then screw them as long as you know that you did your best and it was the better thing to do you shouldnt care what others think.
(you taught me that freshman year)"-Carmen

i truely have no idea what i would do without you. sorry i have only chatted when i needed to vent. I am going to fix that! i will text you everyday until you tell me to stop. I love you and our friendship. You help me realize things I have forgotten. You always remind me of the strength I have deep within. I just need to remind myself that I am a good person and have a good heart, to others that will sound concieded but we know the meaning. I am happy you are at the school you love despite the miles between us. Since frosh yr, AVID sisters and best friends. Nothing will ever change it. That I promise because I can not picture my life without my Carmen. You are my hero for many reasons, and you are also my inspiration for many reasons. You're Theresa and I'm Jacquilene(real housewives of NJ reference). I love you and you're my best friend so thank you for everything!

a little of everything

2010-08-15T00:01:00.000-07:00

L i f e:

Finally 19 babyy.

learning.

working.

dreaming.

baseball.

F r i e n d s;

candle with a flicker.

i have another great friend, kelsey.

seein the bestie(guy) next thursday. hopefully.

B i r t h d a y:

Simple amazing.

a bit of drama.

B.I. with kels and steven.

dancin all night.

vegasss(insider).

cake was yummy.

cute blanket from jen.

fuddruckers with mom.sis.niece and nephew.

L o v e;

single.

cute guys.

tryin with one(soon maybe)

G e n e r a l:

life is good.

2010-07-11T03:52:00.000-07:00

"You can't take back all the things you left behind" -Ryan Bingham

&& i can't quite figure out what it means to me...

Sons of Anarchy

2010-06-23T20:28:00.000-07:00

Big Bear Choppers

Ride the Mountain 2010

met Charlie Hunnam && Theo Rossi.

best.
day.
EVER.

i would relive it if i could.

kissed on the cheek

by both men(:

teachers.work.

2010-06-07T21:53:00.000-07:00

i FINALLY get why. why they always tried so hard. to figure out a way to keep kids out of trouble.

So there is this boy who goes to the school I work at. and I'm trying soo hard to get him into the NJB because I don't want him getting into trouble. I made him a deal- he tries to stay out of trouble I find info on the NJB. He is holding up his end of the deal and I'm trying hard to keep mine. I want to make a difference in this kid's life, I want to show him that although the town, well downtown Rubidoux, is ghetto- he can make something of himself. Okay so he's only in like 3rd grade but I believe he can start now. I truely think he will turn out very well.

So there it is, I finally get why teachers got so frustated with us.

duck.

2010-06-06T15:40:00.000-07:00

So ummm I can't believe it
has taken me this long to post it.
I got a tattoo!!
it's a duck on my right shoulder

the partners in crime went with me to get it. i got it while in AZ.

So for those who haven't been too updated on my life; I'm growin up. I'm learning new things about myself everyday. I'm gaining new friends and I'm doing great in school.

it's only a chapter

2010-04-25T22:01:00.000-07:00

This, this right here. this time. this time passing. its a chapter in the book of my life.

i keep doing the things i said i wouldn't. && honestly, I keep thinking I'm going to do this or I'm going to do that. Well fuck it. I am going to DO it.

Fuck you if you don't like my choices,
Fuck you if you think i don't live up to YOUR standards.
I'm living for MY standards.

I'm happy, like totally happy.
It might be momentarily, it might be forever-
pain is inevitable but holding it is optional.

Screw worrying who will be pissed off at me next or thinks I shouldn't be friends with someone; i dont care. I couldn't give two shits.

I'm going to go for a walk tomorrow, I'm going to work on losing weight instead of thinking I'll start a track starting on the 1st of next month. I'm starting now.

I'm starting this very second to become the person I want to be-
not the person you want me to be.

I'm going to say a fuck off to those who aren't happy with my or anyone elses choices.

and i can't even begin to tell you how amazingly good it feels :)

Love,
Jodi aka Biscuit

Winter Olympics 2010

2010-02-26T23:56:00.000-08:00

Apolo Anton Ohno; i am so proud of his accomplishments at this years Winter games! I have been a fan since he started in '95. So no i am not jumping on the band wagon- i even voted for him on DWTS. He has done amazing! The disqualification was a bunch of b.s. but he was a good sport about it! Plus he just won us the bronze in the relay! Go Apolo!

Well sunday is a 6 hour coverage day and the closing ceremonies. But Team USA has done amazing! We should all be proud!!

Ooh and Sunday is also our hockey game!! USA vs. Canada. Since we beat the shit out of Finland today. GO TEAM USA!!!

update: We lost against Canada in the gold medal round; next time guys- next time.

Jan 2010

2010-01-23T22:50:00.001-08:00

my first real post of 2010.

It has been pretty good. Although alot has gone wrong; all this crap is making me stronger. Thank God for music; i have no idea what i would do without it. All these trials are worth fighting because honestly, it'll get better. I'm stronger than i give myself credit for. I can fight through all the bullshit and everything else; i always have.

but Jan 2010 has been good. I have great friends, i have a job, a license, and alot of good things in my life. But everything will look up from here; i'm making sure of it.

xoxo
me

The Last Blog of 2009

2009-12-31T21:59:00.000-08:00

Good bye 2009!!

it was my time to shine.

So many things have happened.

I have had some ups and some downs.

Graduated High School; Got my license.

Got into college; Got a job.

Lost a friend; Had bad times.

I've gained great friends and lost some.

But at least i now know who my real friends are.

Appericate my family soo much more.

I love em with all my heart.

I've broken hearts and had mine broke.

lookin back '09 wasn't that bad;;

i'm still excited to see what 2010 will bring.

HAPPY NEW YEARS!!

xoxo,

Jodi

it's time to wake up

2009-11-16T23:25:00.001-08:00

its been a year since i started blogging and i guess i should update you on me since you met me my senior yr of high school.

I'm a 2009 RHS graduate who is starting college in the winter session. I'm a strong person, well so i'm told, but i tend to fight like hell to keep myself together. i've learned alot about myself since i first started high school and blogging.. I learned I usually run from my problems rather than face them. I cut some people out of my life and honestly im truely happy about it. I learned who is actually there for me when all i need is a rock, and i learned who only wants me in their life when they want something. I have learned to allow myself to like someone so much that i miss em everyday; but i also learned to let go. i have lost some people in my life forever, and i just pray everyday that they are happy in heaven.

So cut all the crap; i know who i am. i learned what can truely break me and how to keep myself together. I may not be the strongest but babyy im strong enough.

just another moment passing by

2009-10-25T01:45:00.000-07:00

At this moment there are 6,470,818,671 people in the world.
Some are running scared. Some are coming home.
Some tell lies to make it through the day.
Others are just now facing the truth.
Some are evil men, at war with good.
And some are good, struggling with evil.
Six billion people in the world.
Six billion souls.
And sometimes; all you need is
one.

2009-10-21T21:08:00.000-07:00

i just wanted to thank you for visiting me in my dreams twice

it felt soo nice to give you a hug and hear your voice

i feel blessed to have had those dreams; thank you blakee.

i love && miss you<3333

picking up the pieces

2009-09-25T20:31:00.000-07:00

"Maybe the moon's just a whole in the sky
One day at a time my world is shatterin
Maybe the answers to never ask why
As I watch my life unravelin"

Heres everything that's on my mind plain and simple. I'm not super woman nor will i try to be anymore. I know no matter what i need to live life because there's things i cant change. There is one thing i can change though- MY happiness. So i'm living each day as if it's my last.

my Godfather is in stage 4 of cancer, he's in surgery as i sit here typing. He's been so strong through this and i'm proud; but at the same time worried. School starts in the winter. New boy is amazing, although we're currently just friends. I feel like im gaining a piece of myself that I've lost. I'm the strongest person according to most of my friends, yet i break down from time to time. I'm complicated yet so simple. i have the bestestestest friend ever named Jenifer, and we have countless memories. I'm living life the way i want. Things aren't perfect nor do i ever except them to be. So all in all life has been good; but i'm determined to make it GREAT.

xoxo
me

P.S.

its good news; no new cancer, just scar tissue that was messin things up :]

2009-09-24T13:43:00.001-07:00

so lately i felt like i have been closer to god. If you know me, you know im not a religious person. But lately i just felt like i'm closer to god. I've been praying alot. Honestly, it feels good. It feels really good. I know my beliefs aren't exactly, well, what any religious person would call "right" but i have my own views on God and how i think i can live. I feel like I'm on the right path. I havent been to church in a long time; a really long time. But honestly i feel okay. I'm happier than i've been in a long time. Thank god. no pun intended. thats the right saying right?

&& so i thought....

2009-09-03T15:09:00.000-07:00

"by no means
Am I a complicated girl ..
Just a girl with a whole lot of love in her heart ..
With just as much PMS in her hormones." -Hippoleetoee

so true; sometimes i just tend to fall for the wrong boy
its life; i gotta move on; it never works the way it should
but oh well; he wasnt the one for me i guess
just gotta keep movin on; cant wait to get outta cali
i effin hate it here sometimes; it holds waay too much
memories i never want to relive; and memories i hold so dear
i guess thats just the Cali life; and Cali lovin...

xoxo
me

Jonas Brothers

2009-08-08T15:16:00.000-07:00

okay so typically i say they are sell outs that just want to make money and they suck and should just stop. BUT i went to their concert last night- it was last minute not planned. AND well- i like them now. i know me? really? but yes i infact have become a jonas brothers fan. the concert was nice. i liked it. i had fun. oooh geez lol. but anyways they are pretty hot in person.

river trip

2009-08-03T20:26:00.001-07:00

it was ahhh-mazing. haha.

it was pretty chill and lots of fun.

we were in the water the whole day.

taking out the boat was a blast.

ooh and i got tan[ner]

Thanks for the memories

2009-07-29T14:22:00.001-07:00

So i know i havent updated in awhile; and i have learned people actually read this thing lol. So lately the blogs have been downers; well when i posted, but i turned over a new leaf and life here has been AHHH-MAZING. This new independence is great; not so excited for school though. so here is the update:

I am super excited to turn 18 in 13 days lol. I have spent like everyday with jen, which means ADVENTURE!! hahaha so we have taken random trips to the beach and spaghetti factory. She has taken me to Santa Monica, it was my first time, then LA. Took forever to find the walk of fame lol. So we just ended up visiting my brother. Oooh yeah we also got lost in fullerton hahahaha.

Memories<3

waiting for a world to change..

2009-06-27T01:35:00.000-07:00

so i'm babysitting for the bosses; first time in awhile and i was thinkin about alot of things since the kids feel asleep and here are my thoughts..

oh and if you get offened;

i dgaf cause honestly it's MY opinion.

if only, if only in this world all this bad shit would just stop
think about it John Mayor actually has it right; everyone keeps waiting on the world to change*
and honestly thats just it- we're just waiting; but what do we really do?
how is it going to change when so many people oppress themselves
and we're killing animals like sharks and whales cause no int'l waters law helps them
it's funny how people reach out to the teenagers, such as myself, about dangers of
drinking, and drugs and all the crap yet we only reach youngsters when its red ribbon week?
how is it we want to make a change; but yet people hardly ever do a thing?*
i wish i could see more postive things; i guess its why i search for clarity spots
there's too much bad shit in this world; and i just need a reminder that its gonna be okay
and okay you may belive without suffering there'd be no compassion; but is that really true?
How would you know because you have never been in a situation where it is completely happy.
i wish there were things i could let go but its easier said than done;
but i still live life to the fullest the best i can
i guess you could relate that to masses; cause they oppress themselves by holding onto the past
they dont want to move forward unless everything is handed to them; but they dont give back.
i hate that about things; you want to be given to but you wont give back.
i guess i could go on for days on this issue but i wont...

P.S.
*by change i didnt mean the president; i meant in actual change.

my sweet silver lining pt 1&2

2009-06-16T13:40:00.000-07:00

...and so last night was graduation; and i think i saw my sweet silver lining
i got a lot of closure because of somethings that happened.
but anyways..

last night at graduation the sunset and the way the clouds were was amazing. The sun was barely peaking out and it made me feel like the ones I have lost were watching out for me. Then right was the clouds swallowed the sun I saw three little birds. I have a pretty good idea of who they were supposed to be. The reason I thought it was them is because they flew around like they were dancing. It was truly amazing and I felt like you three were there for me.

Thank you.
I truly love and miss you all.

Pt 2:
so today was your graduation; they called your called name i cheered and stood up for you i told jessi i wished you were here she told me that you were in spirit; and i know you were cause i saw a bird just like the one at my graduation it flew just like the other bird had; so really i know it was you :] i miss and love you Blake

&& sometimes thats just life...

2009-06-02T20:19:00.000-07:00

the other place you have come to fear the most

sometimes when you're lost you're the most together

because you are revaluating everything.

Boys, friends, even family.

You go through pahses inbetween the times when you feel lost.

It's because you refind yourself each time.

You're always realizing something new,

Then once you have revaluted thing you find yourself again;

cause even the people who never frown

eventually break down. &&

it kinda really sucks

but it happens.

We all go through it but just as long

as you always find your true self

you'll be okay.

she screams scandal

2009-04-21T21:42:00.000-07:00

Ok so i doubt anyone reads this anyways. but life here has been crazyy; majorly crazy. For those who do not know yet, i have decided to stay in the area for college aka im NOT going to humboldt. Some things have happened and i fully realized im too scared to move.

March- AVID trip to six flags was amazing!! I hadn't had that much fun in awhile. I mean hearing my tutor scream like a girl was priceless! hahaha. Oxygen bar- first time i did and wow. I want to go do it again; its like you just inhale a scent and get a free massage; well at least where i went to you do. It was amazing. After i went to Dennys with some amigos and that was fun; we found out the Plain White Tee's Shake is basically a vanilla shake only with the Plain White Tee's name; damn marketing huh? Anyways sounds like a great way to end a month huh?

Well i got some unfortuante news. A friend of mine, whom i knew from mutual friends, passed away. His name was Blake-amazing person, artist, friend. I miss him. Blake you will ALWAYS be in our hearts!

April- ok so the month is not quite over yet but it's gettin there. The realization that graduation is near is scary. But oooh wait i still have Prom and Grad Nite and the AVID Senior Trip. This should be fun. It's crazy how we used to think it would be forever and now it's here. ahhhhh!!! Where has the time gone? soo I'm done for tonight just wanted to give ya a little info on where i've been at.

Also, shout out to www.hippoleetoe.blogspot.com for turning 1!!!

one of the best days ever <33

2008-12-15T20:31:00.000-08:00

ok so it started out kinda shaky. I woke up and it was colder than heck and my sister was loud while getting ready for work. I get mad then right as i fall back asleep my alarm went off. I was pissed. Anyways, i get ready for school, then while on the way my dad almost forgot to turn so he could take me to school. Then i get there and school was okay nothing special. So the school day ends and im excited like always right? cause thats what it is to be a teenager.

I get home its chill and just the normal day[[again]]. Anyways my mom goes and gets the mail and i she told me i had two letters; one from Humboldt State University and one from CSULB. I was like cool; its probably just telling me to send in more stuff. So i open the CSULB one cause it was easier to open; one of those rip the sides kinda thing. So it was just updating me and stuff; and then i open the Humboldt one. I open it wonder what it's about then I read:
"Dear Jodi,
Congratulations! Humboldt State University is pleased to offer you admission for the fall 2009 semster..."

oh my gosh i calmy said mom "i think i just got into college" and she read it and we started flipping out! like i was jumping up and down screaming. and then my nephew actually gave me a hug i was shocked lmao. So anyways i was like oh my gosh i have to call jordi!! then the freakin woman didnt answer her phone; but she was later forgiven. Anyways i call the boss, my dad, my brothers, ty and jen and sondra. i was alll excited. i still am.

So anyways i tell jordi and she was freakin out too. then she goes im picking you up nd we're getting donuts[[looong story]]. so she picks me up and screams and hugs me. then we get outside and i yell we're going to college[[she got into johnson and wales]] So anyways we're all hyper then we get donuts not a good combo. ooh plus the girl got a dozen donuts[[again looong story]] and of course we got extra. which is at my casa just like all the donuts we never ate.

anyways so today was like the one of the best days ever!!

Vote No On Prop 8

2008-10-22T19:06:00.000-07:00

So there is a HUGE controversy on Prop 8. everyone knows about it; but for those who do not it is about legalizing gay marriage. I vote no-too bad i cant vote yet. My reasoning is because of "the pursuit of happiness" and separation of church and state. Also because why am I going to deny someone the right of being happy when I as a person HATES being alone.

The separation of church and state is a big thing, which is why we can not pray in school. What ever happened to the separation? I'll tell you; people want to make sure it's there way. I am not the most religious person but what I do know is that God wants people to be happy, so who can say God said that straight people and only straight people can be happy? I would love for you to come and tell me that you were told this and with proof. I do not believe that God wants anyone to be unhappy. God made everyone different for a reason- to banish them to hell[[which some people have told me this is where gay people will go]], i think not. I think he wanted to show how ignorant people can be, and they go as far as denying people rights, how can you be cruel to not let people marry. Seriously, tell me your reasoning and why you believe it; what would you believe if the church told you nothing about gay people.

Did you ever think that some pastors or fathers or anyone else might want change also? I mean some churches can do what they want; hence the separation. They do not have to allow anything. Some churches will accept it and some wont. But are you seriously going to deny someone the right to be happy? What does it matter to you if they are married; your not dealing with it; you are not marrying them; you are not going to the wedding; your just preventing someone from being happy. its just like every guy or girl that has ever or will break your heart. Say your mom or dad or sibling or any relative came out- what would you do? Would you say you do not support them or would you stand by them? Honestly why would you at any cost take away a persons' happiness ever?

go ahead try to prove me wrong. I WILL argue with you- no matter what.

VOTE NO ON PROP 8

The Weekend <3

2008-09-29T16:18:00.000-07:00

ok so friday was the bosses wedding. It was soo cute; it was an autumn type of wedding, meaning lots of browns and oranges, which was adorable. It was held at the Crestmore Manor which is gorgeous all by itself. The ceremony was held outside of the house on the front lawn with the mountain in the background. the groom and his men looked very handsome && the bride and her bridesmaids look gorgeous as always. heres a photo; it is kinda blurry but it is adorable.

The reception was amazing it was held in the carriage house. the dance floor was filled and fun and crazy. I met new people and hung out with ones that i already knew like dina, missy and other girls. It was so much fun and their cake was gorgeous[[look below]]

it looks soo cute; notice the i do on the table. hehehe

So again the reception was soo much fun. I danced single and with people lol; so much fun dancin with Dina. I also got a dance with a friend named Sam; he was sooo drunk. Of course my bosses had us dance cause they promised me a dance with him and it just soo happens that it was "baby got back" that came on when we hit the floor. I doubt it was on purpose but regaurdless of it was or wasnt it was still soo much fun!! hahaha.

It was just so much fun. I got see me two cuties; who will be displayed after this little part. But i didnt get a chance to get a dance with travis unfortunatly, but i did get a chance to dance with sam. But all in all it was so much fun, but i will[[one day]] get a dance with travis. So now look here are my two cuties.

<---Sam <--- Travis

xoxo
me

the first week of senior year

2008-09-05T21:17:00.000-07:00

So it's friday and i finished my first week as a high school senior-still sounds odd to say. Honestly it is still kind of scary cause i have my SAT coming up and plus applications. Wow, can you say crazy? well anyways, so these past week has been sort of crazy-but i like it. Tonight was our first scrimage which was against patriot and some other school i think like riverside christian. im not sure though.

School is going okay. i got yelled at on the first day-only i would get yelled at right? anyways i had a better day after that and i have my friends to tell me its okay. i have seven classes which is pretty cool i dont mind. i like having the seven instead of just leaving early. csi is soo much fun and so is yearbook. but i still have to make up geometry :[ and then second semester i will in RCC and high school. im excited about that. i know where i am applying to college and i really hope i get in. i really want to go university of arizona and be a wildcat, or maybe humboldt or long beach. anyways i will just be happy i got into a college.

Life is going okay. everything has been up and down; but thats life-nothing is ever simple. but sometimes i wonder is life really easy and we just make it complicated or is it really just crazy. im still talking to "him" i will not name him cause well i just simply don't want to. the people who know already know. otherwise you probably don't need to know. and no i'm not talking about pretty boy- he is too old. lmao. but there is some stuff going on that hurts and i just don't feeling like talkin about it on here. if you wanna know you can ask- i may not say but it was worth a shot right?

but i guess to top everything off life is going okay for the most part. school i will need to get used to again cause i hate waking up early. but ooh well.

Xo.jodi.oX

what to do with my life now...

2008-08-24T17:40:00.000-07:00

Ok so basically this is my first blog on here. I thought I might start off with the basics. I am starting my senior year of high school next week, I am hella nervous about how it will go and college and all that crap. I havent taken Alg II yet and i failed second sem of geometry. I have no clue what i am going to do. because I also haven't taken my SAT or ACT. I am totally lost and need help. I think I might want to go up north and go to school there; awesome colleges in Northern Cali. Honestly I need my Hippo-lee-toe and Markie. lmao. School will be crazy because honestly I am hating AVID- or at least I did this last year. First time I have ever hated the program-ever.

Life is crazy everywhere else. Pressure to go to college and plus i have no life- that I will admit. The other things in life i am seriously not sure of. I feel like some people are drifting and honestly I know I'm drifting from there and not sure if i care or not. Mean i know but it's true. Like I'm sure where things in my life stand and what to do. I need out of Cali because everything you believe is ripped away before you ever realize it is- Cali tends to have that effect on people. I learn new things every day but somehow everything gets twisted and all i know is contradicted by everything. Too deep? ok now on to more ligther things.

I wanna go to a concert. I love the way i feel when the bass and guitars and vocals surround me. I feel more alive at a concert than i do anywhere else. But i want to go to the beach- a solo trip. but I have noo way of getting there. i need to clear my head- which i guess is why i am now blogging. never thought i would lmao. Maybe i need to go to the mountains- no one really understand why I go there. some think that it makes me depressed- but it doesn't it makes me realize who is real and who isnt. but i guess i get that feeling when i am at a concert, beach or mountains. its a sense of clarity i need in this moment.

ok so basically i'm pretty sure no one will read this but there i got almost everything out of my head. and i think that is enough insight to life for those who may have read it.

xoxo
me