The River

A few posts ago I wrote I can't claim a faith, then retracted it. I am Catholic, born and raised. These past 7 years I have had a hard time with my faith and God, I have doubted him and didn't believe in Him. I am ashamed to say it, I am. I have lost some very important people in my life, yes it is a part of life, but I lost them when I needed them the most. My sisters have screwed somethings up for me big time, I hit a point where I was lower than you could ever believe and I was able to hide it well. I lived with this fear for the past 2 years I might become them, I have seen it in some people's eyes. Reverse psychologically was used on me to become something and work harder than ever, it tore me down even worse. I never turned to drugs for my problems, I knew where to get them I just refused to take that path. At 19 I am jobless, I am a student and I hate being jobless but there is something more important that I possess than a job. I'm so happy to say I have just about 100% of my faith back. They say evil comes disguised, and it does. I thought for awhile it had taken ahold of me, but I'm fighting back full force. I'm 19, I go through trials and I have faced some pretty crazy stuff. It has torn me down harder than you know but I stood back up and fought even harder. I make mistakes, I may not live according to how the Bible says I should but it's my life to make mistakes. God knows what is in my heart and to me that is all that matters. These things I face are just challenges. "You need to remember that word "challenge". They are not problems or issues or anything else... God gives us all challenges that we must face in order to see His glory. When faced with challenges, we are forced to think and work them out until we overcome them. There are always answers to these challenges, even if they aren't the answers we are looking for. We just need to accept the answer, learn and move on" My friend Joey aka Flawless told me this, and it has really helped. I thank God for blessing me with such amazing people in my life family and friends. Joey has really helped me out with reclaiming my faith so thank you; I love you.

"I confess I am a sinner,
I have seen a vision of my life &
I want to be delievered."